I have neglected my blog for guilt of far too many beers and “slap tjips”, yes I fell off the wagon.
But with the spark of new love interest and a 21st comming up, I think it might just be time to get back on.
I have managed to keep off the weight I lost before, but I can feel that I have been eating all the wrong things.
I notice that when I am keeping the blog, I am more inclined to carry on, see here’s what we are going to do: write instead of eat!
Starting tomorrow, I will be back on track (ok, Im just not giving up the draught)
I hereby swear to excercise regularly, eat healthy meals, stay away from pies and biscuits and keep my fat ass off the couch!
Oh, who am I kidding, Ill take it as it comes.
I am however starting to feel a lot better about my weight, finding out that the sexy young bimbo my best friend seems to be showering his attention on weighs exactly the same as me.
But then again, she also has legs up to here and towers over me, making me feel like a a mere dumpy little shadow.
Little does she know, In a few months stime, my short (1.61m) frame will become that cute little petite girl that everyone wants to look after.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
winter...
Ah, it has been a bad week.
Technically, I have been good, I have been resisting all temptation, despite an overwhelming urge to pig out.
But I have by far not been eating often enough, or drinking enough water.
Funny thing though, I used to want to pig out on chocolate and cake and sweets, but now those foods are hardly appealing.
I could die for a rack of ribs and a plate of chips. I could kill world leaders for some creamed spinnach and I would part with my own family for a proper roast...reis, vleis en aartapels!
Us 'Afrikaaners' never have had the healthiest eating patterns, and in some people it shows, but there is nothing better than my grandmother's home cooked meals to put a spring in your step and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I never thought of myself as an emotional eater, in contrast, I can't eat if I'm angry, but lately, I just want to eat something that reminds me I'm at home (if that makes any sense).
The healthy eating thing is great, and I feel healthy, but I also feel detached somehow.
I can't eat often because I'm not all that happy(it's been a bad week) and I'm not happy cos I'm not eating properly.
I have also begun to think that perhaps I am a seasonal eater, as soon as it gets cold, I crave 'snacky' foods or carbs.
I have this uncontrolable urge to dive under a duvet with a bowl of popcorn, hot chocolate and my mommy's famous cheese snackwiches.(trust me, you can only understand if you've tasted them).
But instead, I find excuses to keep walking and graze on apples, frezzing my arse off.
Now here's an idea, why can't someone come up with the perfect winter diet?
Technically, I have been good, I have been resisting all temptation, despite an overwhelming urge to pig out.
But I have by far not been eating often enough, or drinking enough water.
Funny thing though, I used to want to pig out on chocolate and cake and sweets, but now those foods are hardly appealing.
I could die for a rack of ribs and a plate of chips. I could kill world leaders for some creamed spinnach and I would part with my own family for a proper roast...reis, vleis en aartapels!
Us 'Afrikaaners' never have had the healthiest eating patterns, and in some people it shows, but there is nothing better than my grandmother's home cooked meals to put a spring in your step and make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I never thought of myself as an emotional eater, in contrast, I can't eat if I'm angry, but lately, I just want to eat something that reminds me I'm at home (if that makes any sense).
The healthy eating thing is great, and I feel healthy, but I also feel detached somehow.
I can't eat often because I'm not all that happy(it's been a bad week) and I'm not happy cos I'm not eating properly.
I have also begun to think that perhaps I am a seasonal eater, as soon as it gets cold, I crave 'snacky' foods or carbs.
I have this uncontrolable urge to dive under a duvet with a bowl of popcorn, hot chocolate and my mommy's famous cheese snackwiches.(trust me, you can only understand if you've tasted them).
But instead, I find excuses to keep walking and graze on apples, frezzing my arse off.
Now here's an idea, why can't someone come up with the perfect winter diet?
Monday, May 18, 2009
Busses and things
With losing weight, I have found a new sense of confidence, and quite a bit of attention, which is why there hasn't been any new posts...
I just seem to be too busy living!
Last week I lost a huge 1.2kg, thats like nearly 3 blocks of margarine..
Better still, and I don't know how this happened, I fit my ass into a size 34!
Granted, there was still muffin top, and it was stretch denim, but none-the less, it fit.
But back to confidence, I even find myself sitting a little straighter and dressing a little more sexy...
Some great poet, I think it was Sylvia Plath, but I can't really remember, said: “Bloody men are like bloody busses!”
She was right, all of a sudden I am getting loads of male attention, which is quite honestly, a little strange for me.
I'm not complaining though, I am having fun being treated like a princess for a change.
The really cool thing though, is that I have more than enough energy to stay up till all hours of the morning, where before I had very little energy for anything remotely exciting.
Now, talking of exciting, I can think of a few energy consuming activities that are indeed very exciting... but ladies aren't supposed to speak of such things.
I just seem to be too busy living!
Last week I lost a huge 1.2kg, thats like nearly 3 blocks of margarine..
Better still, and I don't know how this happened, I fit my ass into a size 34!
Granted, there was still muffin top, and it was stretch denim, but none-the less, it fit.
But back to confidence, I even find myself sitting a little straighter and dressing a little more sexy...
Some great poet, I think it was Sylvia Plath, but I can't really remember, said: “Bloody men are like bloody busses!”
She was right, all of a sudden I am getting loads of male attention, which is quite honestly, a little strange for me.
I'm not complaining though, I am having fun being treated like a princess for a change.
The really cool thing though, is that I have more than enough energy to stay up till all hours of the morning, where before I had very little energy for anything remotely exciting.
Now, talking of exciting, I can think of a few energy consuming activities that are indeed very exciting... but ladies aren't supposed to speak of such things.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
moving along-not so swiftly
correct eating: 5/5
drinking water: 4/5
excercise : 0/5
I indeed have been a bad girl, I haven't been excercising and I can feel the dead weight starting to form yet more cellulite on my ass! (I know thats not exactly how it works, but you get the picture)
In my defense now- and I swear this is not a "the dog ate my homework" kind of excuse, it's valid, I swear!
A spider bite on my leg- and more so the allergic reaction to it- has rendered me pretty much useless!
My leg, the size of a tree trunk, was unable to move much due to high rates of inflamation and swelling.
Everyone knows you can't excercise on one leg,right?! (Im afraid my friend Cooper would tell me otherwise as he daringly pops a wheeli in his chair with a cheeky grin)
Truth of the matter is, what with a hectic social life, feeling violently ill, and, and...I was lazy ok?
There.I said it.
Either way, Im still going to show that scale who's boss!
drinking water: 4/5
excercise : 0/5
I indeed have been a bad girl, I haven't been excercising and I can feel the dead weight starting to form yet more cellulite on my ass! (I know thats not exactly how it works, but you get the picture)
In my defense now- and I swear this is not a "the dog ate my homework" kind of excuse, it's valid, I swear!
A spider bite on my leg- and more so the allergic reaction to it- has rendered me pretty much useless!
My leg, the size of a tree trunk, was unable to move much due to high rates of inflamation and swelling.
Everyone knows you can't excercise on one leg,right?! (Im afraid my friend Cooper would tell me otherwise as he daringly pops a wheeli in his chair with a cheeky grin)
Truth of the matter is, what with a hectic social life, feeling violently ill, and, and...I was lazy ok?
There.I said it.
Either way, Im still going to show that scale who's boss!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
To have your cake and eat it...
I am slowly but surely learning what it means to eat in moderation- instead of scoffing of course.
Big family birthday dos are not a good time to find out how fattening malva pudding is, especially after you have made it!
Or apple crumble for that matter- even though logically you know how much butter goes into that crust.
But the key to weight watchers, apparently, is that you can have cake, as long as it's in moderation....
Doesn't mean you aren't going to feel guilty as sin though!
Standing at the cake table, sideplate in hand, contemplating which cake would be healthy, I watched the boys in our family scoff all sorts of lovely treats, and wondered how on earth they get away with it.
It was then that I heard a yell from outside and followed the sound right into the midlle of a hooligans soccer match....
And there in lies the secret.
The boys in our family are all slightly hyper hyperactive.
They are burning off fat faster than it gets a chance to settlr on their body!
And thus, I was inspired to try my hand at running after the ball- even if I never caught it.
I would like to think that I worked off all the cake, but logically, I know there isn't a chance in hell.
Ah well, I can surely dream, can't I?
Big family birthday dos are not a good time to find out how fattening malva pudding is, especially after you have made it!
Or apple crumble for that matter- even though logically you know how much butter goes into that crust.
But the key to weight watchers, apparently, is that you can have cake, as long as it's in moderation....
Doesn't mean you aren't going to feel guilty as sin though!
Standing at the cake table, sideplate in hand, contemplating which cake would be healthy, I watched the boys in our family scoff all sorts of lovely treats, and wondered how on earth they get away with it.
It was then that I heard a yell from outside and followed the sound right into the midlle of a hooligans soccer match....
And there in lies the secret.
The boys in our family are all slightly hyper hyperactive.
They are burning off fat faster than it gets a chance to settlr on their body!
And thus, I was inspired to try my hand at running after the ball- even if I never caught it.
I would like to think that I worked off all the cake, but logically, I know there isn't a chance in hell.
Ah well, I can surely dream, can't I?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Eat more to weigh less?
So off I go to weigh in yesterday, super excited, because I have been a very good girl, when I discover to my horror and disbelief, I have only lost a measly 200g.
"But I don't understand," I cry, really frustrated.
I have been excercising like a demon, getting my groove on, drinking dams of water and eating well.
My group leaders starts giving me the spanish inquisition about my habits, and I tell her.
And this is the real funny part, she looks at me and says: "You not eating enough."
Excuse me, isnt that how I got to this state in the first place?
No, she says I am not eating enough carbs and protein and I am not eating often enough and I have to eat up all my points....
NOw, Im really bad at eating often, Im worse at eating carbs, and I never get through all my points.
I have to point out though that I don't thing the beer helped my cause much, bad idea number 352!
I got so frustrated, i ate a chocolate!
But ah, wonders never cease, i might not be losing weight, but Im losing cm, two by two, and really fast... why hasn't the scale caught on?
"But I don't understand," I cry, really frustrated.
I have been excercising like a demon, getting my groove on, drinking dams of water and eating well.
My group leaders starts giving me the spanish inquisition about my habits, and I tell her.
And this is the real funny part, she looks at me and says: "You not eating enough."
Excuse me, isnt that how I got to this state in the first place?
No, she says I am not eating enough carbs and protein and I am not eating often enough and I have to eat up all my points....
NOw, Im really bad at eating often, Im worse at eating carbs, and I never get through all my points.
I have to point out though that I don't thing the beer helped my cause much, bad idea number 352!
I got so frustrated, i ate a chocolate!
But ah, wonders never cease, i might not be losing weight, but Im losing cm, two by two, and really fast... why hasn't the scale caught on?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Music and Beer
At risk of sounding like an alcoholic, I think I have found another weakness besides chocolate...
The chocolate cravings have finally subsided, but I made a terrible mistake in saying hello to an old friend this weekend.
I haven't quite got used to going to a music festival and not drinking, not for any other reason than it is one of the few times I let my hair down.
Seeing as though beer has fewer points than virtually everything else, I decided to open my heart to an old love.
I have always been the beer swigging, rugby watching, really cool guy with long hair, untill I actually started thinking about rather being seen as a girl.
I tried drinking more ladylike drinks, but nothing comes close to the delicious taste of an ice cold beer.
Problem is though, beer makes me hungry, and while I applaud myself for showing serious self control, I could have eaten my way through an entire McDonalds branch if you let me!
Oprah would probably say that I am making progress in terms of figuring out how I picked up my weight.
But surely the amount of jumping up and down I do at a festival helps me work of the beer?
Heaven knows I probably sweat most of it out in my rock induced trance...
But talking of trances, be warned that drinking red wine, and then spending time alone is not advisable.
I am sure that someday I will regain my confidence (I think of it as I am just getting rid of the dust that has settled over my confidence when I forgot it existed) but for now, I still spend a lot of time thinking about whats wrong with me, when logically I know (and this I preach to others) for everything that might not be cool, there are two really brilliant things that make me quiky...
woah, this became serious, Im off to grab a beer!
The chocolate cravings have finally subsided, but I made a terrible mistake in saying hello to an old friend this weekend.
I haven't quite got used to going to a music festival and not drinking, not for any other reason than it is one of the few times I let my hair down.
Seeing as though beer has fewer points than virtually everything else, I decided to open my heart to an old love.
I have always been the beer swigging, rugby watching, really cool guy with long hair, untill I actually started thinking about rather being seen as a girl.
I tried drinking more ladylike drinks, but nothing comes close to the delicious taste of an ice cold beer.
Problem is though, beer makes me hungry, and while I applaud myself for showing serious self control, I could have eaten my way through an entire McDonalds branch if you let me!
Oprah would probably say that I am making progress in terms of figuring out how I picked up my weight.
But surely the amount of jumping up and down I do at a festival helps me work of the beer?
Heaven knows I probably sweat most of it out in my rock induced trance...
But talking of trances, be warned that drinking red wine, and then spending time alone is not advisable.
I am sure that someday I will regain my confidence (I think of it as I am just getting rid of the dust that has settled over my confidence when I forgot it existed) but for now, I still spend a lot of time thinking about whats wrong with me, when logically I know (and this I preach to others) for everything that might not be cool, there are two really brilliant things that make me quiky...
woah, this became serious, Im off to grab a beer!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Weigh-in day
Ah weigh-in day.
You eat as little as possible and drink as much as possible, in the hope of fooling the scale.
According to my crummy bathroom scale, I was doing really well, but then of course, weight watchers don't use a bathroom scale, they use something that looks like it would be used by a butcher.
I hear it's very acurate. No amount of shifting my weight around could bring my weight down, and for all my exercising and eating healthy and trying to be a table tennis, I lost the grand total sum of (drum roll please) a WHOPPING 800g.
The funny thing though, and this could just be pure imagination talking here (maybe the lack of chocolate is making me go insane), all my clothes are really starting to feel looser.
Nevermind that, people are noticing.
My friends think I have lost a whole lot of weight.
It actually a kinda cool feeling to have other people notice that you are doing something.
Of course, I had to cheat a little, and had an entire lammington and two lovely cupcakes (they were small, ok!)
I might also have eaten a couple of highly fatty date balls, but damn they were good.
As any addict will tell you, the road to recovery is long and hard, and sometimes steep, so steep that you might tumble off the back of the bloody wagon.
I hear it's important that you get straight back on again, but I was still a little in shock from the fall, so it was nice to just sit there for a while...
You eat as little as possible and drink as much as possible, in the hope of fooling the scale.
According to my crummy bathroom scale, I was doing really well, but then of course, weight watchers don't use a bathroom scale, they use something that looks like it would be used by a butcher.
I hear it's very acurate. No amount of shifting my weight around could bring my weight down, and for all my exercising and eating healthy and trying to be a table tennis, I lost the grand total sum of (drum roll please) a WHOPPING 800g.
The funny thing though, and this could just be pure imagination talking here (maybe the lack of chocolate is making me go insane), all my clothes are really starting to feel looser.
Nevermind that, people are noticing.
My friends think I have lost a whole lot of weight.
It actually a kinda cool feeling to have other people notice that you are doing something.
Of course, I had to cheat a little, and had an entire lammington and two lovely cupcakes (they were small, ok!)
I might also have eaten a couple of highly fatty date balls, but damn they were good.
As any addict will tell you, the road to recovery is long and hard, and sometimes steep, so steep that you might tumble off the back of the bloody wagon.
I hear it's important that you get straight back on again, but I was still a little in shock from the fall, so it was nice to just sit there for a while...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Diets and Deadlines
The two don't go together, period. Speaking of which, that's another thing that shouldn't come anywhere near a diet.
I discovered this, well, on deadline- could nobody have prepared me for this?
Yes, I am struggling.
A computer crisis is also a good time to start rethinking things.
Usually, when I am stuck at my desk, typing away like a possesed machine, I take a break by stuffing my face.
The sweet things work wonders for keeping me awake while my eyes slowly turn square, but then of course, like with any dependancy, as soon as the rush is over, I need a next fix.
I am drinking water though, and fruits are sweet and good for munching.
I'm still trying to conclude the internal debate my mind is having on the subject of table tennis, but hey, weight watchers says it counts as excercise...
Another little feel good thing I have been doing is walking instead of taking a taxi.
I am told that this is actually working, and that people can see it in my clothes, but I still feel like a stuffed animal.
Just the thought of it could send me to chocolate...
Forgive me chocolate god, for I have sinned, it has been a week since my last chocolate, and I'm not doing to badly :D
I discovered this, well, on deadline- could nobody have prepared me for this?
Yes, I am struggling.
A computer crisis is also a good time to start rethinking things.
Usually, when I am stuck at my desk, typing away like a possesed machine, I take a break by stuffing my face.
The sweet things work wonders for keeping me awake while my eyes slowly turn square, but then of course, like with any dependancy, as soon as the rush is over, I need a next fix.
I am drinking water though, and fruits are sweet and good for munching.
I'm still trying to conclude the internal debate my mind is having on the subject of table tennis, but hey, weight watchers says it counts as excercise...
Another little feel good thing I have been doing is walking instead of taking a taxi.
I am told that this is actually working, and that people can see it in my clothes, but I still feel like a stuffed animal.
Just the thought of it could send me to chocolate...
Forgive me chocolate god, for I have sinned, it has been a week since my last chocolate, and I'm not doing to badly :D
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Day 1
Technically, we are only on Morning one, but for all intents and purposes...I got through a morning ok, thats HUGE! ( if you will pardon the pun)
My first meeting went off relatively successfully, minus the fact that I felt COMPLETLEY out of place as well, not a middle aged woman with a weight problem.
Apparently I can lose far more that I thought I could, which is a little scary actually.
The plus side (pun again, I apologise) of course, is that the scale actually let me get on, and, suprise, it is still in one piece.
So, I have my lunch all packed, healthy fruits and yoghurt, and armed with my water bottle, I'm going to make it through today without a single sweetie.
My small goal is 8kg in 8 weeks, that's not so bad, right?
Wish me luck...
My first meeting went off relatively successfully, minus the fact that I felt COMPLETLEY out of place as well, not a middle aged woman with a weight problem.
Apparently I can lose far more that I thought I could, which is a little scary actually.
The plus side (pun again, I apologise) of course, is that the scale actually let me get on, and, suprise, it is still in one piece.
So, I have my lunch all packed, healthy fruits and yoghurt, and armed with my water bottle, I'm going to make it through today without a single sweetie.
My small goal is 8kg in 8 weeks, that's not so bad, right?
Wish me luck...
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The realisation
Oh who am I kidding?
I love the wonderfull theories on woman's size, but they don't help very much if you feel the size of a house!
I'm not quite sure if I got bullied into this (I would like to say I did), but truthfully, I know it's time to do something now.
I am about 20kg overweight (I think) and am starting to desperately miss my size 10 jeans.
So today is D-day! I have an appointment booked and Im off to start weight watchers (I know, I know, but I just can't do it on my own)
I intend to get rid of all my food frustrations- and I forsee many- here.
Anyways, here goes nothing...
Wish me luck
I love the wonderfull theories on woman's size, but they don't help very much if you feel the size of a house!
I'm not quite sure if I got bullied into this (I would like to say I did), but truthfully, I know it's time to do something now.
I am about 20kg overweight (I think) and am starting to desperately miss my size 10 jeans.
So today is D-day! I have an appointment booked and Im off to start weight watchers (I know, I know, but I just can't do it on my own)
I intend to get rid of all my food frustrations- and I forsee many- here.
Anyways, here goes nothing...
Wish me luck
Theories on size
What exactly is a winter woman?
According to one of my male friends, it’s a woman with a little (or not so little) bit of meat on her bones.
We were sitting having drinks one night, when he pointed out what I thought to be an average size woman and said: “Winter is coming.”
I asked him to explain, and apparently, bigger girls make good winter woman.
At first I was absolutely horrified.
I am pretty much the same size as her, and I have always thought I was average, but apparently I fall under the cuddly category?
Apparently the curves count for extra padding that act as a hot water bottle.
While scratching the last diet out of the cupboard and reaching for the nearest celery stick, I spent some time thinking about this concept of a winter woman.
If I consider the throngs of women I am introduced to by my male friends, and the women they spend time closely watching from across the bar (i.e. “perving” over), average is okay.
These are a bunch of “boob guys” and as one of them once pointed out to me, it’s got to be proportioned.
Even my baby brother (who is actually 15) says a girl needs to have something to hold on to.
Most men, it seems, understand that Barbie dolls are moulded out of plastic and pictures of supermodels are airbrushed.
According to half the articles you read in women’s magazines, men expect the average woman to look, well, average.
So why then do we spend half our lives obsessing over size?
I understand that there is a point where carrying too much weight can be unhealthy, but there is nothing more comical that watching a beautiful, average sized woman, standing in front of a mirror, pointing out her flaws.
You are probably the only person who sees those flaws, and think of this way, even the Sistine Chapel has a few cracks.
Besides, it is our flaws that makes us individual and sets us apart.
It’s the flaws that make an average woman unusual.
Weighing food and counting out portion sizes takes time.
It’s a waste of valuable time you could be spending doing something you enjoy, exercising or even just laughing.
Getting healthy doesn’t always have to mean dieting, but if you are going to be getting healthy, be careful of which processes you chose to do together.
I can safely say that quitting smoking and starting a healthy eating programme don’t go together, especially when you work next to a bakery.
Our bodies need some of these so called bad foods though, even if it is just to feel better and every woman deserves to feel good.
Of course you could just use an old friend’s justification: chocolate is made from coco, which comes from a plant, so it must be healthy.
The guys might be onto something with this winter warmth thing though, so if you will please excuse me, my winter wobbly bits are off to find a winter man.
* Published in Tygerburger 15 April 09
According to one of my male friends, it’s a woman with a little (or not so little) bit of meat on her bones.
We were sitting having drinks one night, when he pointed out what I thought to be an average size woman and said: “Winter is coming.”
I asked him to explain, and apparently, bigger girls make good winter woman.
At first I was absolutely horrified.
I am pretty much the same size as her, and I have always thought I was average, but apparently I fall under the cuddly category?
Apparently the curves count for extra padding that act as a hot water bottle.
While scratching the last diet out of the cupboard and reaching for the nearest celery stick, I spent some time thinking about this concept of a winter woman.
If I consider the throngs of women I am introduced to by my male friends, and the women they spend time closely watching from across the bar (i.e. “perving” over), average is okay.
These are a bunch of “boob guys” and as one of them once pointed out to me, it’s got to be proportioned.
Even my baby brother (who is actually 15) says a girl needs to have something to hold on to.
Most men, it seems, understand that Barbie dolls are moulded out of plastic and pictures of supermodels are airbrushed.
According to half the articles you read in women’s magazines, men expect the average woman to look, well, average.
So why then do we spend half our lives obsessing over size?
I understand that there is a point where carrying too much weight can be unhealthy, but there is nothing more comical that watching a beautiful, average sized woman, standing in front of a mirror, pointing out her flaws.
You are probably the only person who sees those flaws, and think of this way, even the Sistine Chapel has a few cracks.
Besides, it is our flaws that makes us individual and sets us apart.
It’s the flaws that make an average woman unusual.
Weighing food and counting out portion sizes takes time.
It’s a waste of valuable time you could be spending doing something you enjoy, exercising or even just laughing.
Getting healthy doesn’t always have to mean dieting, but if you are going to be getting healthy, be careful of which processes you chose to do together.
I can safely say that quitting smoking and starting a healthy eating programme don’t go together, especially when you work next to a bakery.
Our bodies need some of these so called bad foods though, even if it is just to feel better and every woman deserves to feel good.
Of course you could just use an old friend’s justification: chocolate is made from coco, which comes from a plant, so it must be healthy.
The guys might be onto something with this winter warmth thing though, so if you will please excuse me, my winter wobbly bits are off to find a winter man.
* Published in Tygerburger 15 April 09
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