Theories on size

What exactly is a winter woman?
According to one of my male friends, it’s a woman with a little (or not so little) bit of meat on her bones.
We were sitting having drinks one night, when he pointed out what I thought to be an average size woman and said: “Winter is coming.”
I asked him to explain, and apparently, bigger girls make good winter woman.
At first I was absolutely horrified.
I am pretty much the same size as her, and I have always thought I was average, but apparently I fall under the cuddly category?
Apparently the curves count for extra padding that act as a hot water bottle.
While scratching the last diet out of the cupboard and reaching for the nearest celery stick, I spent some time thinking about this concept of a winter woman.
If I consider the throngs of women I am introduced to by my male friends, and the women they spend time closely watching from across the bar (i.e. “perving” over), average is okay.
These are a bunch of “boob guys” and as one of them once pointed out to me, it’s got to be proportioned.
Even my baby brother (who is actually 15) says a girl needs to have something to hold on to.
Most men, it seems, understand that Barbie dolls are moulded out of plastic and pictures of supermodels are airbrushed.
According to half the articles you read in women’s magazines, men expect the average woman to look, well, average.
So why then do we spend half our lives obsessing over size?
I understand that there is a point where carrying too much weight can be unhealthy, but there is nothing more comical that watching a beautiful, average sized woman, standing in front of a mirror, pointing out her flaws.
You are probably the only person who sees those flaws, and think of this way, even the Sistine Chapel has a few cracks.
Besides, it is our flaws that makes us individual and sets us apart.
It’s the flaws that make an average woman unusual.
Weighing food and counting out portion sizes takes time.
It’s a waste of valuable time you could be spending doing something you enjoy, exercising or even just laughing.
Getting healthy doesn’t always have to mean dieting, but if you are going to be getting healthy, be careful of which processes you chose to do together.
I can safely say that quitting smoking and starting a healthy eating programme don’t go together, especially when you work next to a bakery.
Our bodies need some of these so called bad foods though, even if it is just to feel better and every woman deserves to feel good.
Of course you could just use an old friend’s justification: chocolate is made from coco, which comes from a plant, so it must be healthy.
The guys might be onto something with this winter warmth thing though, so if you will please excuse me, my winter wobbly bits are off to find a winter man.
* Published in Tygerburger 15 April 09